Harassment, Stalking, Misconduct "Neighbor using POLICE to harass me.."

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newhampgirl

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Hello, I am in a situation with a neighbor who is using the police to harrass me, Let me give you some background on the "situation", this neighbor and I had become very good friends, at one point when my daughter broke up with her boyfriend, "Neighbor" offered to rent her and my granddaughter part of her house, as our friendship went on my neighbor fell in love with me, I know this because she told me, I explained I was not lesbian and love her dearly but not in that way, anyway it started getting pretty weird, at one point she threatened to blow her brains out because I took another call and she felt "jilted by me", so I walked on eggshells around her afraid she would actually committ suicide, as I drifted slowly away from her, she tightened her grip on me, threatening to throw my kids out of her house and such, I told her that I did not feel we could be friends anymore and the "doo doo hit the fan", she called me screaming she was throwing my kids things out onto the street, now keep in my mind she NEVER told them she wanted them to move, she was only mad at me, anyway due to the fact that we were friends my daughter had always paid her in cash for rent and she was paid up until the end of last month and she threw them out on the 10th of month, My kids were gone for the day, she called me screaming that she was throwing their things out on the street, I stated to her if she touched their belongings that I would call the police, next thing I know police are at my door stating to me that what she was doing was completely within her right, and they had to go IMMEDIATELY! ... I called daughter told her to come home and the officer stood by while they moved out, they allowed her to throw my young daughter out and my 10 yr old grand daughter OUT, anyway I moved them in with me, and shortly later they have another apt and are very happy, since they have moved this "neighbor" has broken a window in my shed and broke in, she stole a snowmobile right off of my property and took it right over to her residence in plain view, I was shocked, but I felt at this time even giving this nutcase any kind of attention would just make things worse, it was like she WANTED me to call the police on her, I went to the police station out of view of her and filed a police report and told them the situation, and stated to them I just want to do this quietly and have record of the incident in case anything else occurs, that she could keep anything she had stolen as long as she would leave me alone!! Next day I am headed to work to care for a disabled boy who I always get off of the bus and care for him until his parents arrive home, police were at the corner and pulled me over, let me state that the car I was driving I had just purchased and had put my old plates on it until I could get it registered the next day on Friday, payday, turns out they had been to my house before I had even left for work due to her calling them, and ran my plates they KNEW before they pulled me over that they didn't match, they arrested me and took my car into impound, (( they had a tow truck driver on standby cause they already knew they were taking my car)) I spoke to officer in length about the situation and the obsession this neighbor is having with me, and asked for advice , his advice is to not give her any ammo. this same neighbor has the same thing going on with her vehicle except her car has had bad plates on it for months, I did tell the police that and they said they would investigate it, (( but they havent')) ..now another factor is this , it is a small town, she grew up here and has family ties here, I am not a native, yet have lived here for 9 years with no incidents with police of any kind...

I filed a "stalking restraining order" on her , since we are not nor have never been a couple it could not be a regular restraining order, we are going to court next month for that, I just hate even seeing her, I am afraid just seeing me is causing her to lash out more and more, and since i KNOW she has guns I am afraid for my life, I have flood lights installed now all over my property, my question is what else can I do?

I am at a loss on how to handle this situation, with a normal person I could just talk to her and try to resolve but she isn't normal...and I am afraid that any conversation with her will make things worse, is this legal what she is doing? I know she told me that the police here she has known since they were little boys, and if they ever gave her any crap she would spank them!! since she used to babysit a few of them..

The officer that arrested me did feel bad that it had all happened after I told him the story but the wheels had already been put in motion, I dont think he will bother me again..but there is 5 more cops in the area..sigh

thank you in advance for any advice you can give me to resolve this matter..
 
I called daughter told her to come home and the officer stood by while they moved out, they allowed her to throw my young daughter out and my 10 yr old grand daughter OUT
If the laws of your state allow this, then the neighbor was within her legal rights even if her motivation was bad.

What state are you in?

I went to the police station out of view of her and filed a police report and told them the situation, and stated to them I just want to do this quietly and have record of the incident in case anything else occurs, that she could keep anything she had stolen as long as she would leave me alone!!
You're lucky they even took the report. Most agencies would not take a report of a civil incident. If you wanted to report a crime, you report a crime.

You are really okay with your neighbor stealing a snowmobile? That's got to be a few thousand dollars worth of vehicle! And you did not want her arrested?

police were at the corner and pulled me over, let me state that the car I was driving I had just purchased and had put my old plates on it until I could get it registered the next day on Friday, payday,
Not a good idea at all ... in some states this could be charged as a felony under the right circumstances. This is particular situation is one that you created, not your neighbor.

this same neighbor has the same thing going on with her vehicle except her car has had bad plates on it for months, I did tell the police that and they said they would investigate it, (( but they havent'))
How do you know they haven't? I know that in my state we don't make a habit of telling people what we have done or not done with regards to investigations or even the results of vehicle registration checks in most cases. It's possible that the neighbor has corrected the vehicle issue and you do not know it.

Even if they have not dealt with it, that's your neighbor's good luck and not an issue you should stress over.

I am afraid just seeing me is causing her to lash out more and more, and since i KNOW she has guns I am afraid for my life, I have flood lights installed now all over my property, my question is what else can I do?
Other than making sure your doors are locked, and perhaps buying a big dog or a big gun of your own, I don't know you can do any more.

What evidence are you using to support the stalking order? The theft? How long agi was that? And you didn't want charges way back then, so if this order is granted and she wanders onto your property are you going to ask for charges then?

I am afraid that any conversation with her will make things worse, is this legal what she is doing?
There is no rational discussion with irrational people.

And, aside from the theft, what is she doing? She has a right to call the police for things she believes are criminal activity. Her calling the police about your car or something else is perfectly lawful and can't be used against her at court. if you are basing your stalking order on her calling the cops for your criminal act, that's a losing argument.

I know she told me that the police here she has known since they were little boys, and if they ever gave her any crap she would spank them!! since she used to babysit a few of them..
But, that really doesn't matter. The only crime she committed you agreed to let her keep the stuff. She hasn't shown that she can exert any control at all over the police - she hasn't even had to really try.

The officer that arrested me did feel bad that it had all happened after I told him the story but the wheels had already been put in motion, I dont think he will bother me again.
If you have corrected the license and registration issue, then you are probably right and the officer would have no reason to deal with you on that issue again.

All you can do now would seem to be going through with the stalking order and hope you have sufficient proof to demonstrate a need to the court. If it is issued, then you will have to assert it by reporting violations to the police. If you do not report violations to the police, then why get the order?

Good luck.

- Carl
 
If the laws of your state allow this, then the neighbor was within her legal rights even if her motivation was bad.

What state are you in? New Hampshire

When she started with the "kick em out" threat, I did alot of investigation into the matter of "eviction" , everything that I read said she even if it is her personal home, if she is renting to them she has to by law do a "proper eviction", she knew this as well, she had went to the court house and got evictions papers drawn up, (( she told me later)) BUT.... when her buddy cops arrived she lied and said NO RENT has been received, (( because daughter had always paid in cash)) and she even said on the phone when I told her to leave their things alone, she can't PROVE she ever paid anything, I even told the police this and they said they have to side with her and throw them OUT...


You're lucky they even took the report. Most agencies would not take a report of a civil incident. If you wanted to report a crime, you report a crime.

You are really okay with your neighbor stealing a snowmobile? That's got to be a few thousand dollars worth of vehicle! And you did not want her arrested?

Well I thought It was odd that they didn't investigate it on their own, honestly No I don't want her arrested for anything, I just want her to leave me ALONE, to me it seems like she is continuing to "do things' to get a response out of me of some kind, negative attention is still attention, and seems the more I do not respond to her she seems to be escalating in her harrasment.. Hence the restraining order, she has been under my car since the throw out incident, and called me telling me she checked something out for me even though I never requested her to, she left a message, I emailed her best friend and asked her to relay the message that I would not be answering any of her calls or emails nor listening to them or reading anything else, her friend pretty much said "leave me out of it", she was my only way to contact her, but I totally understood that is for sure..


Not a good idea at all ... in some states this could be charged as a felony under the right circumstances. This is particular situation is one that you created, not your neighbor.

Oh I so agree with that, it was my stupidity that brought me to that place, yes my car is registered now and there won't be any more problems with that, BUT... they would never had pulled me over if she hadn't called them, and the very next day was when I got paid and was planning to register and tag it properly..the police even told me that she called them and they had it all set up to pull me over when I headed to work..
see with me I have a regular job I go to daily and a regular time, she knows this and she knows I would never miss work for anything...she on the other hand doesn't work, she works doing handyman jobs working under the table and no set times that she goes anywhere..

I do thank you for your response, albeit disheartening, what I wanted was the truth and that is what you gave me, all that I can do at this point is keep a journal of all incidences and pray that the judge gives me a restraining order, and HECK YES i would prosecute her if she disobeyed the orders he sets down, i have had it with her..

again thank you
 
she lied and said NO RENT has been received, (( because daughter had always paid in cash)) and she even said on the phone when I told her to leave their things alone, she can't PROVE she ever paid anything, I even told the police this and they said they have to side with her and throw them OUT...
Without proof of rent being paid, they may have had little choice. However, your daughter might have a good lawsuit against her ... provided, of course, she can figure out how to prove she paid rent.

Well I thought It was odd that they didn't investigate it on their own, honestly
If the victim is no interested in prosecution, most law enforcement agencies are not going to waste their time. There are too many crimes where the victims ask for something to be done to waste time on those where the victim does NOT want anything done.

Hence the restraining order, she has been under my car since the throw out incident, and called me telling me she checked something out for me even though I never requested her to
"Under" your car?? What, she's crawling under it in the driveway or the garage? That's freaky.

BUT... they would never had pulled me over if she hadn't called them,
That's how many crimes are discovered. Relaying this to the court may just make put you in a bad light if you complain about her reporting you for a criminal offense.

and the very next day was when I got paid and was planning to register and tag it properly
In all honesty, the cops here that ALL THE TIME. I could pull someone over today, and, ya know, they will tell me they planned to go in tomorrow to take care of it. It's about as predictable as the sun rising. Well, either that, or, "I didn't know ... I don't know HOW those plates got switched!"

..the police even told me that she called them and they had it all set up to pull me over when I headed to work..
Nothing wrong with that ... it just means you live in a place where the cops have so little crime that they can afford to spend time on these sorts of offenses. We've done the same thing as recently as this last weekend. Though we were looking for dope so we hoped it would be moving, and sure enough, it was.

all that I can do at this point is keep a journal of all incidences and pray that the judge gives me a restraining order, and HECK YES i would prosecute her if she disobeyed the orders he sets down, i have had it with her..
That's good. And keeping notes of specific incidents is good, too. Now, not knowing the requirements for a stalking order in your state, I can't say what the judge might say. Hopefully it works out for you.

- Carl
 
What evidence are you using to support the stalking order? The theft? How long agi was that? And you didn't want charges way back then, so if this order is granted and she wanders onto your property are you going to ask for charges then?

the theft was only a week ago, she did it on the weekend, I knew about it but could not really prove it, so I did nothing, I drove by her house last Tuesday, and my snowmobile is right in her drive way with a tarp that I had in my shed before break in right next to it, it shook me up unbelievably but the next day I made a police report, and I also told the officer that arrested me about it, I told him of my being unsure about filing charges because of the "situation", he said to let him know, and I still don't know what to do about that, I don't want to allow anyone to get away from breaking and entering and theft but I also don't want this nut case to keep harassing me either..
 
Under" your car?? What, she's crawling under it in the driveway or the garage? That's freaky.

oh yeah right in my driveway, claiming she was looking for a "gas leak", there is not a gas leak anywhere on my car, this is exactly why I want the order to stay off of my property and not call or anything!!!

Nothing wrong with that ... it just means you live in a place where the cops have so little crime that they can afford to spend time on these sorts of offenses. We've done the same thing as recently as this last weekend. Though we were looking for dope so we hoped it would be moving, and sure enough, it was.

OK I understand that, and yes it is a small town for sure, BUT...if they are so "concerned" with me driving with plates that go on my last car, why not come to my door and say..HEY idiot put the right tags on that car before you drive it...why go through all that drama and call tow trucks and arrest me, force my clients parents to leave work to care for their disabled son that I am not able to get there to do...it just screams 'harassment" to me,, and i do KNOW that I was in the wrong, and such, but to arrest me for this??????????? I have a perfect driving record, no criminal offenses ((until now ))...but Carl I will believe you if you say that is "normal protocol"..
I will reconsider putting the police incident in restraining order request, like you say it may put me in a bad light..thank you for your advice Carl, and also thank you for all that you do as well, protecting the citizens of REAL CRIMINALS..

Laurie
 
oh yeah right in my driveway, claiming she was looking for a "gas leak", there is not a gas leak anywhere on my car, this is exactly why I want the order to stay off of my property and not call or anything!!!
Yeah ... I can see that. You didn't mention this sort of thing in your original post. It sounded like it was merely a couple of incidents and a theft.

OK I understand that, and yes it is a small town for sure, BUT...if they are so "concerned" with me driving with plates that go on my last car, why not come to my door and say..HEY idiot put the right tags on that car before you drive it.
Because they don't have to. And, because it is potentially a felony (at least in my state). The police are not in the habit of advising people of how to take care of their crimes beforehand. If it had been an issue of weed abatement, sure ... an issue with the vehicle? Well, that's how it would be handled in most places unless the agency is too busy to deal with such things in which case they might send someone over to either just seize the plates, or, tell you to remove them.

it just screams 'harassment" to me,, and i do KNOW that I was in the wrong, and such, but to arrest me for this??????????? I have a perfect driving record, no criminal offenses ((until now ))...but Carl I will believe you if you say that is "normal protocol"..
It may seem "harassment", and it may have been instigated by the neighbor in an effort to get your goat, but this incident is not a case of the police siding with her to harass you, it is a case of the police using discretionary time and resources to catch and investigate a potential criminal.

This was only one of a number of ways they COULD have handled it. In most places I have worked, we likely would have waited for you to go mobile then make the stop (because, then, if you had something illegal on you it would be fair game for us because you would be arrested and the car would be impounded). I have also removed the license plates form vehicles when I (and the department) have not had the time to sit on the vehicle. That way, when it goes mobile, it's a sitting duck to be stopped since it will have NO plates.

Good luck.

- Carl
 
Get a boyfriend it will freak her out on many levels. Or have some one stay with you that might act as witness to her behavior, or get it on video even if she's not doing anything criminal it could be embarissing for her. If you own the the property post it no tresspassing and call the cops if she does.
 
Ahh very good idea...

Ahh very good idea...about a boyfriend staying with me, and believe me I have considered it, BUT...she is so pathological I would be afraid of putting someone else besides myself in danger, your right it would enrage her, and I have actually avoided dating because of it...sigh
BUT...I do have a friend who is a girl who said she will come over and stay with me, and we would pretend we were "lovers'..lol but yet again I am in fear of someone getting hurt..
What I have been forced to do is "speak" to her again, so many people saying the only way to handle it is face to face, I filed the restraining order and the paper that I filled out to apply for the order was given to her, she was enraged that I told the judge what she was up to, I told her we need to do a truce, and just keep it at that, I was truly at a loss about how to protect myself against her, since the cops are her buddy's and she lies about everything , just no telling what she would come up with, as a matter of fact when Carl up above explained about the police pulling me over while "mobile" so that they could possibly get me for having "drugs" as well as the tags...
the police did search my vehicle for drugs , I can only assume she told them I do drugs ...(( which i don't EVER))))...but she had to say something to get them all worked up about pulling me over,
My car is now legal and all...she is calmed down ,, and I am attempting like heck to stay away from her..and I am praying for the best...
I thank you for taking the time for answering my thread..
Laurie
 
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