Need some serious advice on my situation regarding possible back child support.

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Dad1234

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My jurisdiction is: California

I apologize for the long post in advance.

I have two daughters with my Ex. When original custody and child support was determined back in 1997, the courts gave Ex primary physical and joint legal and awarded her child support which was fairly minimal since we both didn't make any real money then. I took her back to court to get custody modified as even though on paper she had primary physical, I had the kids close to 70% of the time and I wanted that to continue. Ex would use them as her pawns for when she needed something so I needed it to be on paper. Child support was never modified.

We now have 50/50 physical and legal custody. We have a court order stipulating our kids attend a private school that we both signed. The order does not state specifically who's financially responsible for the tuition. My lawyer told me then that it was assumed that both parties would be responsible to pay 50% of all education costs. However, my Ex has not paid a dime in 7 years. In the past, she would sign over to me receipts saying her child support would go toward other costs (e.g. summer camps) and so no actual money exchanged hands since it went toward her share of costs. Other times, I would provide her with itemized lists of what her support went toward and she was fine with it and didn't provide me any receipts. And other times, I would give her a personal check each month.

I have been paying all their tuition, medical and dental expenses and practically everything else that my girls have needed for all these years. My Ex does not contribute anything above and beyond what she needs in her own household. She doesn't pay anything toward tuition, school lunch accounts, summer camp, school trips, etc. She is not involved in their schooling, never comes to any of their sporting events, plays, etc. I know the law doesn't have anything to do with what a bad mom she is when it comes to emotional support but I wanted to provide this info for some history.

For the past two years, I have been applying the child support toward school expenses. I have been itemizing what it's gone toward. She's never said anything about not agreeing to this. Hasn't mentioned a word in almost two years.

However, recently, we've had a dispute over a completely separate issue and now she is texting my younger daughter (and cc'd me) that I'm not paying her child support and that it's against the law to take money out of support.

My oldest daughter (still a minor) no longer lives with either of us. I have been supporting that daughter solely - providing whatever she needs financially. My Ex has made no efforts to contact that daughter whatsoever. My younger daughter is the only one that goes back and forth between the two households.

Ex was a full-time employee up until about 3 years ago. She is now a voluntary stay-at-home mom. She has a home with a live-in boyfriend and has two kids with him. I am remarried and have two other kids as well.

My question is this: If my Ex takes me back to court for back child support and/or modified child support, am I in trouble? Will they consider me to be in arrears? How far back would they consider me to be in arrears since she and I have been doing this receipt and/or deduction thing since we got the original child support order back in 1997? If I have a record of all that has gone out of my pocket and testimony from the school that she hasn't paid since 2002, would that count toward my defense?

I also make significantly more now then I did 12 years ago and she makes nothing since she no longer works. How would this pan out in court? Although I make more, I am still just scraping by since I pay for all four of my kids (two with Ex, two with my wife). Would support go up?

Thanks for any advice.
 
You really need a modification to account for the oldest daughter and to hammer out the extra expenses, including tuition, medical, dental, etc. You will most likely end up paying more if your income has increased substantially. She will be imputed an income since she chooses not to work. You can request that she be imputed an income comparable to what she is capable of earning.

It's very possible that you may be in arrears if your ex takes it to court. I'm not sure if it would date back to the original order or to the last custody modification. However, since this has been going on for so long, and she never took any previous action, you may be able to argue the case. Sorry I can't be of more help with that question. Someone else may post with more information, but I think you ought to give your attorney a call.
 
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