Unfit Unwed Father threatening to fight for custody

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Shaunnashaun

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My jurisdiction is: Oklahoma

My son was born in 2005, his father is listed on the birth certificate, and unless an acknowledgement of paternity is provided along with the birth certificate forms at the hospital he has never requested them.

My son spends the night with his paternal grandmother, who has always been there for support, and help in any way shape or form for my son since before he was born, I have always been thankful and greatful and feel blessed.
My son's father is an admittedly a drug user and has a gambling addiction, which i why we split when my son was barely a year old. He gambled away every penny I had. He had lied to me when I was pregnant and working 12 hours a day 6 days a week, and instead of going to work for his uncle he was going to the casino, and his uncle fired him when my son was two weeks old.

After we split up he moved in with his mother and after a year she kicked him out when he refused to get a job. He has only requested to see his son once on My son's 3rd birthday but we weren't at home. I have never denied him visitation. He has just never wanted it. He may see my son when he is visiting his grandmother, but I know he went 10 or so months without even calling or asking how he was doing.

I asked my son's grandmother never to allow his father to be left alone with my son, or supervised visitation. He is admittedly on drugs and I do not trust that my son would be safe if left alone in his care and she agreed with me. My son's father found out about this and left me a message threatening to take me to court for custody of our son.

I do not know what rights my son's father has in the state of Oklahoma, or if his character, the fact that he is on drugs etc. etc. even matters.

He is angry with me because I asked his mother, my son's grandmother, that she never leave our son alone with his father, that all his visits be supervised, since he is admittedly using drugs and his character is questionable to say the least and she agreed with me and advised me that she never has and never will.

Like I stated before he is using drugs and has a gambling addiction. He has also been known to steal things that can be pawned for money from his relatives or anyone really. When I was pregnant and working 12 hrs a day 6 days a week up until I gave birth, he was working for his uncle but instead of going to work he was going to the casino. His uncle fired him when our son was only a week old. My father got him a job at his place of employment 3 months later he was given a random drug test and right after he was told that he failed it, he found where I had hidden a box of checks emptied our checking account and gambled away every last penny. I took my son and left, our son was barely a year old. Since then his mother kicked him out because he refused to get a job, has worked maybe a total of 5 weeks in the past 2 years. I had my suspicions when I was pregnant, but really tried to make it work for the sake of our son. I was stupid and naive and totally in denial. He has taken more from our son than he will probably ever give him.
I don't know if his character or the fact that he is on drugs makes a difference. But I don't want to have my son hurt, or in an unsafe environment. I hate the fact that this is an influental role model for my son and fear that he could very much hurt our son emotionally. If there comes a time when my son seeks out a relationship with his father I would never deny him that, and have never denied his father visitation. As much as I may not like it , I only request that it be supervised for safety reasons. I can totally see him leaving our son at his dealers house while he went to the casino for awhile.

Is there anything I can do? Any advice? What steps can I take to protect my son?
 
Dad has probably no chance at custody. He has the right though to petition the courts for visitation and you can argue that you want it supervised by the grandmother if you want. You can also ask that he take a drug test.
 
Is your child's paternal grandmother respecting your wish that the father not be left alone with the child? If so, and things are good between you two, then try not to worry. If he's threatening to file for custody, then maybe you should jump and do it first, since he's on the birth certificate, right now he could take that child and jet, you both have equal rights! Don't even allow that to happen, get a quick temporary custody prohibiting him from doing so. If he's bad on drugs, gambling, then you need witness testimony's, and proof, proof, proof! Search public records, see if you can find anything. Good luck to you
 
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