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    father signing over his rights (virginia)

    Jurisdiction / State: Virginia

    I have a question about the father of my son signing away his parental rights. I got pregnant and we are not married. We resided in Virginia. He says he did not want any more children but here is our son. He did not/would not sign the b.c. It was an abusive relationship so I left when our son was 3 months old and moved home with my parents in Oregon. Before I left, I filed for child support. We went back and forth on the phone, texting, emails, "baby come home" blah blah...Obviously I did not go. He went to court today for paternity and child support and has continued the case because he is getting a lawyer. He has cut off communication 100% and has never asked about our son except when prompted. Why would he want a lawyer when it is him being asked if he is the father and determining child support? I thought he was because he wants to sign away rights becuse he does not want to pay c.s. for a child he thinks he will never see. I never said he could not have visitation. Weather or not he wants that I do not know. Maybe he is going to sue for custody too I thought.
    Anyway, my question is, can he sign his rights away without proving paternity and not pay because he dsnt want to pay and because he thinks he will not see the child? I believe he wants nothing more to do with us ever and will try and prove anything to get out of this. He KNEW I wanted a baby and that I was not on b.c and he did nothing to protect himself. Also, when we would fight I did text him that I wanted him to sign them away...did I hang myself???? I will not sing a paper stating I will if that has to be legalized.


  2. Moderator Honorable Colleague

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    Quote Originally Posted by aidan2007 View Post
    Anyway, my question is, can he sign his rights away without proving paternity and not pay because he dsnt want to pay and because he thinks he will not see the child?
    He has the right to prove paternity before being ordered to pay child support. He will not be allowed to terminate his rights or get out of the child support obligation if it is proven that he is the father.
    I'm not a lawyer

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    He cannot terminate rights unless you are married and your husband adopts. If you wanted a baby then why didn't you just use a sperm bank? Having a baby with a guy who you know does not want a child is wrong. He does have a right to a relationship with the child.

    Also since you moved, it is a possibility you will have to help out in transportation for visits. You cannot expect CS and for him to have no rights it does not work that way. If you really did not want him involved then don't establish paternity.
    I am not an attorney. Do not consider this legal advice.

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    Well, there is more to it like I said about him not wanting another child and him knowing I was not on bc and him not using "methods" himself to prevent it. Plus, he stayed thru the pregnancy and several months after until I left for the safety of my child. I knew this man andlove him still, very much. I know he wanted us but I could not subject our son to the abuse that I, as an adult endured (shame on me). But the morality of it is not the issue. Thanks for the info though.

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    So even if he proves paternity, which I understand is going to happen one way or another (him admitting or DNA-which I prefer) he can still potentially relinquish his rights? Only upon me marrying and the new man adopting? Thank you. I want him to prove paternity. I want his name on the birth cert. for our sons self esteem. I have no problem in him seeing our son (supervised) or providing part of the transport. I want him to have a relationship with our son, but he is showing no effort to do so as of now. Nor has he provided ANY kind of support what so ever since his birth. But thats HIS moral delema. Irreguadless the child is here and I just wanted to know exactly that-no court in this country is morally going to let this child be a "bastard". Our country was founded on legal morality yes, but thats why all these laws started coming about, right? (retoricle)

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    Moderator Honorable Colleague

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    If paternity has not been legally established, then he has no rights to terminate. He also has no rights to visitation or obligation to pay child support until paternity is proven.

    Once paternity is established, he is entitled to file for visitation/custody, and you are entitled to support. If he files for visitation/custody, the court may order that the child be returned to Virginia, so be prepared for that. If not, you will probably be required to provide transportation between Oregon and Virginia, as posted earlier. (You can request supervised, but you will have to prove a need for supervised visitations before the court will order them to be supervised.)

    If he is proven to be the father, he will not be allowed to voluntarily terminate his rights. Generally, the only exception is when a subsequent step-parent adoption in the works.
    I'm not a lawyer

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    He is just as much the father as you are the mother. At first if the baby is an infant you can ask for supervised visits but they probably will not last long. He is entitled to unsupervised visits. He is not required to pay child support unless there is an order, and paternity is proven. Keep in mind you have moved the child away from him. Dad can ask for an offset of CS to cover travel expenses.
    I am not an attorney. Do not consider this legal advice.

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