Thread: Dfcs in the wrong?
08-13-2008, 01:47 PM #1
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Dfcs in the wrong?
Be prepared for a long story...I really need advice...
Me and my husband (Mark) had been involved with dfcs before and everything went smothly and the problem was taken care of. Mark failed the first drug test for thc and I failed for bar (I was really confused at this but I'll explian in a minute). We were sent to do a drug assessment where he reffered us to take drug and alcohol classes. Then we were drug tested agian two weeks later and Mark passed but I failed agian for the same thing, bar. Our case worker was curious as to why and she sent both drug tests to the lab and turns out both of mine were false positives so i really passed them. She called us that day and said she went to her superviser and they decided to close the case and all we had to do was take early intervention classes for 10 weeks bucause of Mark's failed test. We got our kids back that day and all was well.
Well on the fourth of July I went to my family's house with both our kids and Mark worked. My sister drove me home late that night and Mark was drunk with a buddy at his aparment upstairs. It was the fourth so they hung out and drank. No problem. So he got himslef one last beer and came home and we all went to bed. Well the next morning, at 6 am I got up to go to work. And Mark had to drive me because I only have my learners right now. But he was really hungover and still drunk and I didn't feel comfortable leaving him with the kids, I had a hard time waking him up as well. So I called the buddy he had been drinking with and was going to ask his wife to either watch the kids till my husband woke up or till I got home. She said she couldn't cause she had to work as well and I started to get upset (not with her) because I could get in alot of trouble calling in less than an hour before I was supposed to be there. And his aunt Monique was the breakfast manager and I didn't want to explain to her the situation and embarass Mark so I was trying to work around that which was a mistake. I should have just dealt with it and done just that.
So Brad (his buddy) decided to come down stairs and see how drunk Mark really was when I told him not to several times. What I didn't know was that Mark and Brad had gotten in an arguement the night before about how brad was dishonest about alot of things he told Mark. Mark had caught him in a lie and was upset. So when Brad woke him up instead of asking how he felt or whatever, he started calling Mark irresposible and fussing at him. I tried to stop them both from argueing but they were going at it. This wole fight took place outside our front door with the door slightly open. My 8 month year old daughter was awake in her playpin watching cartoons paying no attention to what was going on outside and my son was still sleeping. Mark and Brad were just argueing and there was no actual fight. Yes, there were threats but no fight. At one point I pointed my finger in Marks face and told him to go lay down and he pushed my hand away. (I don't know about you but I don't consider that domestic violence).
Anyway, one of the niegbors called the police and when the police officer. The officer came into the house. The door was opened and he just walked in. The room was messy becuse niether on of us was home the clean up from the morning before. There were clothes on the floor and toys and diapers (clean diapers by the way) No trash or anything dangerous. Well, the cop seemed to think it was awful and saw the one beer mark brought home on the floor empty a little ways away from my sons bed whom was asleep. He ask Mark to step outside and talked with him. Mark ask that he please not call dfcs because they were in trouble before. The officer then ask Mark to take a breath test. The test barely registered .099/. He then ask to take pictures. We didn't mind because we didn't have anything to hide. Well Mark got upset about this and said something about just getting our kids back. This seemed to set the cop off and he walked outside to call. Apparently brad told the cop he was abusing me which was not true. I told him he didn't hurt me or anything but he still filed a report for simple battery and told me I could go down and get a warrent and everything. ( What for pointing my finger and having it pushed away. If a fly gets in your face don't you swat at it automatically.
So then the Dfcs worker on call arrives and so does Marks aunt. (I called her when I realized dfcs was coming and told her everything.) We decided that we would send the kids to Monique's as part of the safty plan and as we were getting the kids things together the dfcs worker herself said that our place wasn't that bad it just looked like we had kids. But because of the beer can and the fight the kids had to go to Moniques.
Well a few days went by and no one contacted us and Monique ended up demanding that someone tell us something. She was tossed around different peaple for ten days after the incident. We finally found our case worker Yalonda who didn't even know she had the case and found it in her box. So she came out and did a home visit with Monique and talked to Mark on the phone and told him that we didn't follow through with our last case plan and Mark was not supposed to be drinking at all. On the phone she told Mark specifically that she would call us the following week. She never did and two weeks went by and we agian started calling up there over and over leaving messages and again couldn't in touch with her.
We started looking up the laws and rules in this situation and foud out the Yalonda had thirty days to have a case plan made and signed by the judge. on the thirty first day I called her number once agin and finally she answered. I mentioned that had been over thirty days and she hadn't done anything but the one visit to Moniques and she imediatly made an appointment for the following friday. I had to get off work an hour early and go back in that night and Mark called and said he'd be an hour late in order to go to this appointment.
At the appointment Yalonda was really rude and acted like we were wasting her time. She pulled the statment that the on call case worker made and while that case worker was telling us that the place wasn't bad and that it just looked like we had kids, apparently she wrote that the place was disgusting and there were dishes everywhere with fly breeding in them and the place was covered in beer cans witch was COMPLETELY untrue. The cop even took pictures of the place. So we could prove that. Also she said that the case from before wasn't closed and we still had things to do. I explained earlier exactly what happened the first time. Then she told us we had to go take a drug test but we explianed that we had to work and would do it first thing in the morning. She said if that were the case then we had to have a hair follicle test done and we said no problem. Then she said that she would do our appointments in the mornings because she knew the resturuant we worked at didn't serve breakfast and she was tired of working around our schedule (remember, this is the first appointment). But we do get there early, I have to be in at 10 and Mark sometimes goes in at 8. I didn't tell her this and another mistake I made, because I was afriad of argueing with her after she's already being very rude.
So the next morning I had to be in at 10 and I waited for the woman to come out and give the test. Yalonda said it would be early in the morning so i was thinking 7 or 8. When it was time for me to go to work, I called Yalonda and told her and she got very upset and said that she would just send them to my work. I said ok because I didn't want her to think I was lying. then she hung up on me without another word. Real proffesional.
The parent aid from the first case called and said she would not come by work to do the test but would be by on sat at 2. She was running late so I called aunt Monique. She told Monique she was running late but would be their shortley. She never showed up. Another lady showed a few minutes after toni said she would do the test. She gave us a 9 panel urine test and a
hair folicle test. I past the urine test but Mark failed for Marijuana.
We have not recieved the hair folicle test results yet. I am sure I will pass but it seems that Mark will not. He is not a drug user. He was at his friends and made the mistate of saying yes when he should have said no. I guess with all the stress he surcame to it. He is young and he made a mistake.
So now we have to take drug and alcohol casses, at our expense, even though I've passed every drug test. And we have to take domestic violence classes because Mark pushed my hand away. And it's looking like it's going to be months or a year before this is all over with.
Since I was the one not drinking and trying to find someone to watch my kids who wasn't. Which is why this happened why couldn't I have gone with Monique and the kids.
Why do I have to take drug and Alcohol classes if I don't use drugs or drink.
How can the report say our house had magets and all these bottles of beers if it did not and the pictures the officer took prove this.
How long does the case worker have to contact you and do home studies, case plans and all that after they have removeed the kids from my home.
Why do I have to take domestic violance classes when all I was trying to do is get mark to listen and stop arguing with the neiber.
This all happened because instead of calling into work I tried to do the right thing and make sure my children were safe by not taking a chance and leaving them with my husband whom had been drinking even though that was not very much.
I havn't done anything but the best I could. I should have called in. Asking the neighbor was a mistake I guess. But, I was just trying to do the best thing for my kids.
Someone please let me know how long they can keep my children from living with me since my husband failed the urine test for traces of marajauna.
08-13-2008, 03:10 PM #2
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Thanked 281 Times in 281 Posts
Can you cut that maybe in third. Its much too long to read throughFor non legal parenting help go to www.parentnook.com