I'm worried about loosing my un born child

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tracysmic

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i'm sorry this is long but i wanted to expleain all what was going on and wanted to know if i had a good chance of the rights to my child.

i am 23 years old and at the moment i am nearly 6 months pregnent.
me and my boyfriend had only started going out a month befor i fell pregnent. i know it was very soon but it was a planed pregnency. having a history of pollasistic overys in both my sisters i didn't think i could catch easly. but it was something that me and my boyfriend talked about and with his 2 other children we felt it would be nice to start a family together.

since the 10th oct 07 (the night we met) i have been living at his flat as i had only just moved out of an house with an ex partner. when moving into his flat, he didn't have a lot of stuff as his ex took alot with her so everything i had from my house i put into his flat. i had been living there for 6 months and coming home to my mum's house to signe on every 2 weeks. his home is in brimingham and my mum's house in redditch, worcester.
i wasn't down as living there as he was classed as a singel perent with one of his children living with him. even tho i should of been as i stayed every night. both his children live with there mum, but stay 3 night a week because she works nights. he has coustidy of his first child.

as much as i loved my boyfriend the area was horrible, and he was selling canabiss from his flat. i hated living there but stayed cause i loved him and he had lots of problems in the past which i was trying to help him with.

so as soon as i found out that i was pregnent, i went along to my local cancil and told them that i was homeless. as i wasn't ment to of been staying at my boyfriends cancil property and my mum didn't want me home (over crouding) so i told the cancil that i was going to and from all my other familys houses (when really i was staying at his). since my boyfriend kicked me out of his place just under 2 months ago, i have been living back at my mums. there is no room for me and there is deffently no room for a child. every week i am placing bids for a 1 bedroom flat hoping that i will get in and settiled befor my child comes along. but if i dont get anywhere and my child dose come along i can start bidding on 2 bed room propertys. but as i am now back at my mums when i have said to the cancil i am at different family menbers, he keeps threattening me that he is going to tell the cancil and stop me from getting a home for me and my child as i am down as homeless.

my now ex boyfriend is saying that when i have given birth to the child. 3 days after it is born he is taking it to stay at his flat for 3 nights a week. i have told him that he can see the child when ever he wants but i want to try brestfeeding and that i feel 3 days old is to soon to be going from one house to the other. he keeps threatening me saying that if i dont let the child stay with him, he will kick down my door and take the child off me and i will only get the child back thru court. (and he is the type of person that dose what he says if he threattens someone) he is saying that he wants our child in his last name and that he must be there when the child is resgerstud. he keeps telling me that he will take his ex girlfriend (mother of his other 2 children) to the birmingham regerstry office and said that she will act as me with him so he can choose the childs name and make sure its in his last name.

this will have to go to court because there is no other way i can reason with him and have a say over my child.

my past- redditch is a nice area with good schools where all my family live and where i am looking for a property. i stayed at school and passed my gcse's, went to collage for a year and got a gnvq in art and designe. i have always been in work providing for my self, i have brought a property in the past and never been in det. i have also got a driving licence and a car which i have had for just over 3 years with no points. but i have been signing on since being pregnent.

my ex's past- he lives in a 2 bed room flat which is a good size but is a real bad area. he was brought up in a childrens home so didn't do gcse. sadly his family dont want much to do with him so he hasn't got many of people he can trun to. he has never worked and always clamed bennifits. he has been to prisson 3 times for armed robbery, driving offencies with out a licence and stabbing a person. in the past he us to take herrowing but has been on tablets for the past 2 years and seeing a care worker. and he also smokes canabis and sells it.

i would never stop him from seeing his child but i am worried about my child being there with out me. with the people that go round to his flat and the drugs he smokes and for the fact that for the last 6 months of me living there i was the one who manly looked after his 2 girls when they stayed. i use to get them showered, wash and brush there hair. get them ready for bed always provide food for us all as well. i know he is capeable cause of having his 2 children but i cant really see he was the one who manly cared for then in his past relationship.

i am just worried that the court will go in his faver because he already has a 2 bedroom flat and that he has brought up 2 childrem befor.

please can anyone help me and let me know if i have a good chance of being my babies main carer and do i have to have his name on the birth catifficat and the baby in his name. as i understand that he has some rights as well

Thankyou for your help.
Tracy
 
listen sweety, this is YOUR child and if you dont put your his name on the birth certificate, then he has no rights to the child unless paternity is established. He is a dangeruos person and you have every right and responsibility to protect your baby. You don't need to fear him. you need to take action NOw, though. You need to be the first one to file for FULL custody of your baby, before he does anything. because whoever does it first, has all of the rights until you see a jugde. You cannot let him take you baby until you have full custody, or he can take the child and not give it back and there would be nothing that the authorities can do. You must take charge, and NOW! I promis you you will regret it if you don't. You say that you would never keep the baby from him. But it is your responsibility!!!!! You have to keep that baby away from all of that nonsense that goes on at and around his house. you would never be able to forgive youself if anything happened to your baby in his care. He is not a good father and does't deserve any right to that baby. Do not be afraid of his threats. !!!!! A jugde will take one look at his past record and laugh at him for tryng to win custody over you. Get a restraining order Now!!! I doesnt matter if he is the blood father. You take control of that innocent life that YOU are carrying inside you and you protect it. Keep doing whatever you can to find a place to live. GOD is on your side, sweety. Do not fear. Social workers and your local DHS office can help you. Also remember that if social workers were to go to his house while that baby was there, and see anything that you have seen, go on at that house............then they would most definatly take that beby from him and you would have to fight to get your baby back, because let him take the baby when you fully knew what was gong on over there. CSD would wonder what knid of mother you are for putting your baby in harms way like that. DO not let him control you or that baby. Do not let him win. THat is YOUR baby and you make the rules. those are terrible threats that he made to you and you need to take him seriosly. A good father doesnt threaten a mother like that. I strongly advise you for the sake of you and that baby..... don't put his name on the bc, and another thing you name that precious baby whatever you want. And definatly give that baby your last name. That man does not deserve any rights until he proves himself. and that should take a long time for someone like him. OHHH what a relief for you, to take action now and know that you dont have to worry about him and his threats because you know that the law is on your side. I want you to know that i have 3 chrildren with 2 seperate losers. both very dangerous men. and i gave in to their demands all the time. i didn't understand what my rights were as a mother, for a long time. and i let my children go with them frm time to time, putting them in harms way, because i thought it was only fair because they wree the fathers. NOT TRUE. ONly a good mother who is acting ou ton the best interest of the children, stands up and takes control. And that is what you have to do before things get out of hand. HOW dare him tell you that he is going to take that bab from you 3 days after giving birth.. Believe me when i tell you that if he was a good man and a loving father. Never in a million years would eh ever threaten you like that. He has alot of problems and YOU have the upper hand. KNow YOUR RIGHTS> that is your baby that he does not deserve!! BE strong and take action NOW!!!!!!! I will pray for you. I have dealt with this for years. I feel your pain and i know your fear. ONly you can protect that precios baby. So thats what you need to do. I promise you that you will be releaved when you have the law on your sied , because he doesnt stand a chance. He will never change. You have to believe that or he will win. don't give him 2 feet or he will take it all. PLEASE TRUST ME. I say all of this with love and experiance. GOOd LUck.
 
Very long.

He would have to Petition for visitation/custody. That could take a year. He better sell a boat load of weed if he wants to do something like that.

I would not worry. YOu have offered visitation, and are NOT being unreasonable in not letting the baby leave. He clearly deosn't understand that a new born baby is very fragile, and you don't give them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when they cry.

If you want to allow visitation, good for you. If he wants the child overnight, make him file in court. If the child was a year old or so, I would understand, but I as a single father, know first hand what you have to do with a new born without a mother there. (He'd last about 3 hours, if he's a tough guy)
 
I just really want to say thankyou to the both of you. you have shed some light on my sittuation and i feel more confident about standing my ground. :yes:

sadly he is still thretting me left right and centre. so i have made up my mind, i'm going to go to the advice buro and take it from there.
then that way he can see the child when the court decides and it will stop him with all the threats and moaning.

also i have been thinking- if i cant regerster the baby at the hostpitel i will go straight from here to my local regerstry office and i am going to put the farther down as un known even tho i am 100% its his.
i was told by a friend who went thru the same thing that if his name isn't down he cant do anything with out a dna test and he will have to pay for it. and i know it would be a merical if he could save the money to pay for it cause his more bothered about his drugs.

thanks for your thoughts and prayers, i know its gonna be hard and it will be a fight but i do feel now i have the upper hand and that god is on my side :angel

Thanks Again
Tracy xx
 
WOW. Here's some suggestions.....

1. Close your eyes, Take a deep breath, and exhale very slowly.
2. Repeat step 1 three times.
 
WOW. Here's some suggestions.....

1. Close your eyes, Take a deep breath, and exhale very slowly.
2. Repeat step 1 three times.

forgive me but that sounds extreamly rude!! :no:

i know i have may of gone on a bit but i imagen you have no idea what its like being threatened by someone who can do some dangerous stuff!!
 
forgive me but that sounds extreamly rude!! :no:

i know i have may of gone on a bit but i imagen you have no idea what its like being threatened by someone who can do some dangerous stuff!!

while I thought it was a bit rude also you are pregnant and need stress level down and I know its hard given everything your going though- my sons father threatened me also and I called his bluff and he lost big time. I won't tell u to take a deep breath but I'll just say watch your stress level
 
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