Lawyers=Shysters

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Scooterdog

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ATTORNEY AND CLIENT

"His first duty is to the courts and the public, NOT to the client. And where ever the duties of his client conflict with those, he owes as an officer of the court in the administration of Justice, the former must yield to the latter."
Corpus Juris Secundum Vol. 7, Section 4.

GETTING WARM
I wonder why anybody would want to become an attorney and live that sordid life. The naive young go to law school, itself inexplicable, and are brainwashed of all their common sense and decency, then they work twelve-hour days for many years only to become partners at some dishonorable law firm such as Howie, Cheatum, and Steal or Linger, Loiter, and Dawdle.

This seems to me a fate that should be completely avoided by any rational person characterized with even average intelligence and moral development. They must have some reason for doing this. I just don't know what it is. If they were actually of sound mind with even minimum intelligence, they would not destroy their souls and self respect just to make some money.

At the ends of their lives I suppose they can reflect upon their accomplishments, that they saved some large corporation a great deal in taxes, and won an important suit over a municipal parking lot. They must at the same time, struggle to forget all of the damage they caused to normal people along the way. Fortunately, the slippery path they selected to follow throughout their life slants steeply downward, straight into hell, where they can burn with all of their friends.

INCOMPETENT
Most lawyers are incompetent. It is not because they want to be incompetent.

They study law. They try to be human. Some of them worry about their mistakes.

Some even grieve over the awful damage they cause.

But most lawyers still do not recognize their incompetence.

That is because their incompetence begins not just as lawyers, but because:


ALL lawyers are inferior human beings.

75% of all the lawyers you will ever meet are below average in intelligence.

This is proven by using Mendel's Laws of Genetics and the following traits:


Common sense -- Intelligence
The distribution of the lawyers would be :

a. 25%: Have common sense and intelligence

b. 25%: Have no common sense with intelligence
c. 25%: Have common sense with no intelligence
d. 25%: Have no common sense and no intelligence


Therefore... chances are that 75% of the lawyers you meet are very stupid.

"Ours is a sick profession marked by incompetence, lack of training, misconduct and bad manners. Ineptness, bungling, malpractice, and bad ethics can be observed in court houses all over this country every day. (...these incompetents have) a seeming unawareness of the fundamental ethics of the profession. ... the harsh truth is that ... we may well be on our way to a society overrun by hordes of lawyers, hungry as locusts, and brigades of judges in numbers never before contemplated."
Chief Justice of the United States, Warren Burger,

The legal process, because of its unbridled growth, has become a cancer which threatens the vitality of our forms of capitalism and democracy. Lawrence Silberman, U.S. Attorney General

The legal trade is nothing but a high class racket. - Professor Fred Rodell

I do not wish to speak ill of any man behind his back, but the fact is that he is an attorney. - Samuel Johnson

People say law, but they mean wealth. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

All sorts of substitute for wisdom are used by the world. When the court doesn't know, they use precedent. The court that made the precedent guessed at it. Yesterday's guess, grown gray and wearing a big wig becomes today's justice. - Dr. Frank Crane

A judge is simply a malignant lawyer, and should be removed. - The Outlaws

A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself. - Lord Brougham

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour. - Thomas Jefferson

He saw a lawyer killing a viper on a dunghill hard by his own stable; And the Devil smiled, for it put him in mind Of Cain and his brother Able. - Coleridge

Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - Shakespeare, King Henry VI

The virtuous need but few laws; for it is not the law which determines their actions, but their actions which determine the law. - Theophrastus

Where you find the laws most numerous, there you will find also the greatest injustice. - Arcesilaus

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus

"The law, sir, is a ass." - Charles Dickens

"Most lawyers are as crooked as a dog's hind leg." - Grampa Province
 
Would you happen to have a question?
 
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