Assessment of case

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mmcclanahan

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When I picked up my child on Sept. 14th she was in bad shape. She'd been with my wife for 2 weeks at her new residence. (a 2 bedroom house with now 4 children and 3 adults). I called DFS and took my 2 year old daughter to the ER because she couldn't urinate. She had thousands of bug bites, dirty hair and face, and smelled horrible.
The DFS worker came to my house and observed the child in my home and went to my wife's new residence. My wife's friend said she was not there and neither was my daughter and furthermore, did not inspect the home. Shortly thereafter I received a voicemail threat saying "This is bull****. What the F*** are you doing. If you F*** with me, you'll regret it".
When I went to exchange the child that evening, all officers were on a call so could not witness the exchange. I waited for five minutes as my wife leered, paced, and began causing a scene. I unbuckled my daughter from her carseat and put her in my lap and kissed her goodbye. I opened the door and handed her to my wife and drove home. Shortly thereafter I received a call from an officer saying that sheriff's deputies were on their way to my house. They came, I explained the situation. Come to find out, she'd told them that I didn't have her in a carseat and that I dragged her by her arm. Her friend gave the same statement. They were there to detain me and take me to the city police headquarters.
I played the threatening message for them and they called the city police and let them know that there was a child safety seat in the car and that it looked like retaliation for the DFS call. In the meantime they cleaned the house like crazy because the DFS worker didn't force her way in. (She went the next day and her assessment of the residence was satisfactory)

The next day I was served with a restraining order citing that I'd leered over the friend, invaded her personal space, was unstable, and a threat to her family. But my child lives there and I cannot contact my child.

My wife is in court facing two charges of Domestic Assault and has been held in jail for one of them for a 24 hour stint. I filed for divorce in Dec. '05 and in Jan '06 took her back because I was convinced by several people that in Missouri the father NEVER is awarded custody unless the mother is practically a convicted axe murderer. I got scared and felt like at least if I endured the abuse I could see my daughter's treatment first-hand. I also have one documented police report in which my wife admitted breaking the door down and striking me in the face.

I have met with the Guardian Ad Litem and he took copies of all pertinent photos, and listened to the threatening voicemails and also the one saying "I'm not going to reward your daughter for being naughty by letting her talk to her dad." I also enclosed pictures of my home (I've been living in the family home since my wife left with our daughter in Feb.) and my daughter's room. It's clean, stocked with food, and my daughter has her own room.

My lawyer is filing a motion for mental evaluation for my wife and drug testing for her as well. The problem is, when I took my wife back I signed the temporary custody agreement that is now in effect saying I have custody every other weekend and Wednesday nights. My wife is a VERY good faker. Could she bluff the psych testers?

The police have been to my house several times over our marriage most of the time because she'd call and say I was going to kill her or something and would be very believably sobbing. One time in particular, the officer said "At your size (6'4 315lbs) if you connected with one punch, we'd be callig an ambulance".

My problem is, if I'm not reassured I always think I will lose and I panic. The nearest court date is an Oct. 10th status conference but my lawyer may have to file motion to reschedule due to medical issues. (I do want her to get well, but I need to get this custody arrangement "flip-flopped")

Based on the information does it look like there's any chance I can change this custody arrangement?

If so, how long may it take?

My daughter's mental and physical health is getting worse the longer this goes on.

My wife has all the sympoms (although I'm not a psychiatrist) of borderline personality disorder. Can the psych evaluators see through her warm and inviting "life of the party" exterior?

Do I have a snowball's chance that I will receive custody?
 
You have an attorney so let me give you the best advice I can. KEEP CALM. I know how difficult this is for you but you MUST REMAIN CONFIDENT. Given all the information that you've provided here and assuming it is what it is, I'm sure you're attorney has said that you seem to have a pretty strong case. Even if you don't win the entire war this round KEEP CALM. The calmer you are the more likely your wife is to self-destruct. I can't imagine the message left on your machine, the hospital report on your daughter's condition and the bogus filing for a restraining order can be ignored. I hope this helps even though it isn't of great comfort. Best of luck.
 
Thanks for the advice. It's hard to stay calm when you're that little life's only ally. But, I do. My daughter says stuff like "you not take mommy away". She's obviously been coached. My attorney doesn't keep me posted and doesn't tell me whether I have a strong case or not.
 
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