Ex spouse is not allowing any contact via mail, phone or personally with my daughter

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tjr1056

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My ex wife and I had a "Agreement" divorce Feb 2005. The papers did not specify any visitation rights, it just said that it would be up to my spouse for me to come and get my daughter. I agreed to pay $350 p/mt support and have done so up until this past December, which was the last time I had any contact with my ex spouse. I have not talked nor seen my 4 yr old daughter since Aug of 06. The last time we talked spouse did not want me to come get my daughter any longer but said it would be better for me to just come and spend a day due to the distance between us. I did not like this but did agree to it. I also had just started RN school and asked my ex spouse if support could be stopped while I was in school. She agreed but with the same conversation, she decieded that it would be better for me to come on a weekend and be with my daughter, I said what about next weekend, she stated that she thought that our daughter had a birthday party to go to that next weekend, but had that information at work and would have to call me back. She never did call back and when I would try the phone never got anwsered. This was in December of 06. True enough I have not paid the support since then but only with spouse's agreement in statement. It was paid timely up until that point, things were fine, my daughter's and my time was great with no problems. So, now, I am in RN school full time, ex spouse refuses to correspond via mail, phone or anything. I have no idea were she works, if she has remarried, where they are. All I know is, I write these letters begging and hoping she will at least allow me to talk to my daughter to which is 4 yrs old.
Spouse has a non plublished phone number now, I can only assume they are still living in the house we bought together because none of my letters never get returned to sender.
What can I do? Does ex spouse have the right to completely seperate all contact with my daughter? Does she have the right to do this because of our agreement of support to which she is a highly paid medical professional that really does not need the support and stated not to worry about any support going through the divorce but I said No and etablished the $350 p/mt. But now am in school full time with no employment but she knows I will payback and continue to pay once I have graduated. What can I do or can I do anything?
Thank for your help!
 
You do not say whether your agreement papers with your wife were court documents or if they were more or less a gentleman's (and gentlewoman's) agreement. Note that even docs. from a mediator are worthless without a court's approval.

Without an enforceable court order, you have little action you CAN take unless you go back to court and obtain a better, more clearly defined order.

Any order that effectively subjects the agreements to mutual arrangement is wholly unenforceable by law enforcement with regards to custody. If she does not agree, oh well. If the order stipulated when you would have visitation and how this would be conducted, then something might be able to be done.

Bottom line: Until there is an enforceable court order in place, you have very little recourse. If there IS a court order in place, read through it carefully. If the other party has violated the terms of that order, you might consider taking them back to court because of the violation. No matter what the situation, it sounds as if you need to go back for a better order if you want to have any chance at enforceable visitation.

I would recommend you consult an attorney in your un-named state ASAP.

- Carl
 
You should absolutely see an attorney and file for visitation. you can file on your on using the courts self help/law library but you need to know what you are doing. You might want to see if there are any fathers rights groups in your area or online that might be able to help. The bottom line is, unless there is a some sort of court ordered visitation schedule, she does not have to allow visits. It is not right of her to do this, but legally she can get away with it if you allow her to.

Child support is a totally seperate issue but you are expected to keep some sort of a job and pay your child support. Most parents do not get the option to go to school full time when they have a child to support.

good luck
 
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