Grandparents rights for visitation

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pmac1561

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Can someone please tell me how I go about filing for visitation of my grandchild? I do not know what my rights are and at this point I know its the only way I will be able to continue to see her on a regular basis. The parents are not married, they have joint custody up until today. There is a conference to change the custody agreement today, but I don't know what the change is. My grandchild lived with me for the first year of her life and I have been seeing her at least twice a week since then. Now because of my daughter's "situation" and lack of transportation, I don't see her for weeks depending on the mood of the parents. I just want to continue seeing her on a regular basis, have her in a good, quiet, loving enviroment for the time she has with me. I was told legal aid society cannot help me and I cannot afford a lawyer so I will have to do this on my own.

Thank you in advance for any help or guidance you can give me! Pmac1561
 
Did the link help?
 
yes, I found fome useful information, Thank you. I looked at the criteria and I can file, now I just don't know how to do so. All the forms I saw are for custody. Is that what visitation is called in PA? Like, partial custody? In which case, I know I would go to domestic relations to file.
 
No, it should not be custody; it should be visitation. Maybe the site has contact info where you can ask a question through email about the forms you need.
 
Grandparents rights are extremely limited. G-parents have lost their rights in many states since the Supreme court has ruled that the parents of the childtren have the ultimate decision making on who sees their child. If you see an attorney they can give you more info.
 
you can see granddaughter on mom's time

Can someone please tell me how I go about filing for visitation of my grandchild? I do not know what my rights are and at this point I know its the only way I will be able to continue to see her on a regular basis. The parents are not married, they have joint custody up until today. There is a conference to change the custody agreement today, but I don't know what the change is. My grandchild lived with me for the first year of her life and I have been seeing her at least twice a week since then. Now because of my daughter's "situation" and lack of transportation, I don't see her for weeks depending on the mood of the parents. I just want to continue seeing her on a regular basis, have her in a good, quiet, loving enviroment for the time she has with me. I was told legal aid society cannot help me and I cannot afford a lawyer so I will have to do this on my own.

Thank you in advance for any help or guidance you can give me! Pmac1561

grandparents are normally expected to see their grandchildren on their child's time, therefore, you can see her on your daughter's time, if your daughter is willing to share, if not, theres nothing you can do. as for the custody change, thats between your daughter and the child's father, and not your business, as you arent a party to it.
 
I have found out through my own situation that children in this country are suffering because the courts and various dfcs agencies refuse to recognize that grandparents are a resource that children have a right to. I can't understand how they justify what is essentially the punishment of children by denying them the love and stability that grandparents have to offer them. I believe it's essential that all of us grandparents who have issues of having our grandchildren be denied the right to what we have to offer them should join together and consider that by helping each other we help ourselves. Start a movement, post a web site to tell your story, publicize the problem on discussion boards, tell your representatives how you see the problem. Challenge dfcs. Our grandchildren depend on us. They trust us and they need us. We need to support their rights by supporting each other. We need to become proactive in changing the policies currently in effect by the courts and by dfcs. I AM doing this. http://grandparentsforchange.com
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if your daughter is willing to share, if not, theres nothing you can do. as for the custody change, thats between your daughter and the child's father, and not your business, as you arent a party to it.
That may be the law in most places, but children certainly should have a right to have their Grandparents involved in their lives. And, I respectfully disagree, it IS our business. As Grandparents we have the age, maturity, wisdom and experience to help guide our grandchildren as they grow to maturity themselves.

Usually, when the parents are divorcing they have problems and the child's environment is very unstable. Grandparents can provide stability and a safe environment while helping the child cope with the changes in his/her life as a result of the feuding parents.
 
I think parents should have the ultimate say so on who sees their kids, most of the time. Just because you are a grandparent, does not mean you were a good parent. Most of the time if your children do not have a good relationship with you, there is a reason. My paretns long time neighbors have not see their kids or grandkids in years and its no surprise. While we all were growing up together there were rumors of alot of abuse and possible sexual abuse going on in that household. It is no surprise that none of their children see them. Do they have the right to take their kids to court for g-parent visitation? heck no and they have not even bothered to waste their time. I think it needs to be VERY fact specific and only if the g-parents can prove that visits are in the childs best interest AND there are no claims of abuse coming from the parents, should a g-parent have any rights.

G-parents, however, have almost no rights at all on a family that is still intact.
 
I think parents should have the ultimate say so on who sees their kids, most of the time.
Even to the point of depriving them of their relationships with Paw Paw, Nana, and Grammy? This sounds like Parental Tyranny. Do you think parents have the right to hit their kids, also? If children are having a good relationship with their grandparents it is cruel to sever it.

Just because you are a grandparent, does not mean you were a good parent. Most of the time if your children do not have a good relationship with you, there is a reason.
Just because adult children do not have a good relationship with their parents does not mean they were bad parents while raising them.

My paretns long time neighbors have not see their kids or grandkids in years and its no surprise. While we all were growing up together there were rumors of alot of abuse and possible sexual abuse going on in that household. It is no surprise that none of their children see them. Do they have the right to take their kids to court for g-parent visitation? heck no and they have not even bothered to waste their time.
Do you think laws affecting an entire group of people should be made based on rumors that you heard as a child? There are an infinite number of reasons why the grandparents have not gone to court, the first and foremost being that they would loose. Would you base a law affecting an entire group of people in a free nation on unfounded rumors that you heard as a child?

I think it needs to be VERY fact specific and only if the g-parents can prove that visits are in the childs best interest AND there are no claims of abuse coming from the parents, should a g-parent have any rights.
Do you also believe that those accused of crimes in our supposedly free country be required to prove their innocence?

G-parents, however, have almost no rights at all on a family that is still intact.
The fact is that most children who are refused the right to see their grandparents are in situations of abuse themselves, such as messy divorces, separations and custody battles. It is usually the non-custodial grandparents who are the victims of retaliation by the custodial parent. Grandparents are often used as pawns in a game of hurt vs. hurt, and the losers are the children.

This is not a grandparents rights issue, it is a child rights issue; the right of the children to see their relatives, grandparents included. Anyone who would advocate keeping children from their grandparents or other relatives is nothing short of cruel. Children need their relationships with all of their extended family members.

Those family members who are abusive are easily kept from children by existing child abuse laws, irregardless of their relationship, and should be prosecuted. While you hear so much about child abuse, the fact is that the vast majority of people in this country do not abuse children.

In my opinion, what you are advocating here in the guise of "protecting children from abuse" is in fact abusing them.
 
I agree that this is an issue of children's rights. In a family there are many members. Children know whether or not their grandparents love them. When a child asks to be with a grandparent it is because there is love there. Children have rights. They are people. If a child has been abused by a grandparent the child will probably not ask to be with that grandparent. If a child asks to be with the grandparent, that bond should be respected. And a grown child doesn't necessarily have an accurate judgement about their parent. Some people were just rotten kids and never grew up enough to see the truth. Children know who loves them. They don't have all of those distorting filters that we develope as adults.
 
Grandma Donna, that is not necessarily correct. I do volunteer work in social services and often children want to return to a home where there is abuse. They would rather return home to their parents whom they love, than go to a foster home even though there is founded abuse in the home. I have to make the decision on if the child should remain in foster care or would be better off with family reunification.

If parents put their kids first, and were dedicated to raising their kids, social services would not be on their case in the first place. There are terrible parents all over, and the sad fact is, their children are often bad parents because of how they were raised. It is a cycle that continues to repeat itself. When a child is removed from the home and grandparents want custody, I give them a background check as part of my evaluation. You would be surprised on the rap sheets I see of 50 and 60 year old g-parents. Most grandparents are wonderful and love their grandkids. Some are not and its no wonder why their kids are screwed up.

The supreme court ruled that grand parents have few or no rights in most cases. In the case of the neighbors I previously mentioned, they have lived there 25 years and have not one single friend on the street. They are hermits, do not socialize at all, I think she is agoraphobic. He is the step-dad to the 2 daughters, both whom have kids and have not come around for years. Knowing how they are now, it is no surprise their kids do not come around. There were rumors that he was abusive and given the fact neither daughter, or son wants anything to do with them now, maybe they should look in the mirror and wonder why their kids don't talk to them. So to give you the idea that all grand parents are wonderful people is wrong and you must first make peace with your kids, before you can expect any rights to the grandkids. The laws in most states give g-parents zero or very few rights, and zero rights to a family that is still intact. In the case of a death of a child, or a divorce, g-parents may have very limited rights and they are lucky to get visits once a month.

Every case is fact specific and in most cases, if a person wants nothing to do with their parents, that is their choice. What about the mother that stays in a long term marriage to step-dad even though he sexually abused her kids? This stuff happens all the time and much if it goes unreported. Do you really think that parent wants her mom and step-dad around her child? Sometimes I wonder why I volunteer for CASA because I see a ton of horror stories but somebody has got to look out for the kids. It is no wonder why CPS in my state has a 40% job vacancy.

I have a great relationship with my parents and I hope they are always involved in our lives, but terrible parents do exist and those are the ones that keep social services employed.
 
you can see granddaughter on daughter's time

And, I respectfully disagree, it IS our business. .

sorry, but the custody agreement is legally NOT your business. you are not a party to it, as i said before, its strictly between your daughter and her child's father. as i said before, if you want to see the child, you are expected to see the child on YOUR CHILD'S time.
 
Grandma Donna, that is not necessarily correct. I do volunteer work in social services and often children want to return to a home where there is abuse. They would rather return home to their parents whom they love, than go to a foster home even though there is founded abuse in the home. I have to make the decision on if the child should remain in foster care or would be better off with family reunification.
Returning to their home is a far cry from going to Granny's to get beat up. Children who do not live with their extended family WILL NOT want to go to an abusive situation, even with family members.

If you work for the state and have not realized that many parents are falsely accused, the children you serve would be better off if you would do some research on the upsurge in false accusations. To treat a child as if he/she were abused if they have not been is abuse in and of itself. Even removing a child from an abusive home is a traumatic experience; that's why they don't want to leave.

If parents put their kids first, and were dedicated to raising their kids, social services would not be on their case in the first place. There are terrible parents all over, and the sad fact is, their children are often bad parents because of how they were raised. It is a cycle that continues to repeat itself.
I agree with you on this one, but our culture does not promote good family values. Welfare discourages fathers from living at home with their children and parents cannot get help when they need it. Costs are going up and wages are going down. We have a wave of fundamentalism sweeping this country demanding that a woman have that child, then lobbies Congress to decrease welfare benefits and promoting corporal punishment.

The Mental Health system is overworked and underfunded and DFCS removes children from their homes rather than help the parents. The extended family is dead and laws have been passed forcing grandparents and other relatives out of the children's lives at the times they are most needed. America IS NOT a child friendly nation.

The reason so many children are abused in this nation is because, as a culture we do not care.

When a child is removed from the home and grandparents want custody, I give them a background check as part of my evaluation. You would be surprised on the rap sheets I see of 50 and 60 year old g-parents. Most grandparents are wonderful and love their grandkids. Some are not and its no wonder why their kids are screwed up.
Sorry, but a rap sheet does not make a bad grandparent. Screwed up kids come from the best of homes because of the issues I mentioned above in our culture. No family is an island and cultural factors often outweigh the best parenting.

The supreme court ruled that grand parents have few or no rights in most cases.
Which was a big mistake and should be rectified by Congress immediately. Having an extended family is the best possible scenario for children to grow up happy and emotionally stable.

In the case of the neighbors I previously mentioned, they have lived there 25 years and have not one single friend on the street.
That could say more about the neighbors than them.

They are hermits, do not socialize at all, I think she is agoraphobic. He is the step-dad to the 2 daughters, both whom have kids and have not come around for years. Knowing how they are now, it is no surprise their kids do not come around. There were rumors that he was abusive and given the fact neither daughter, or son wants anything to do with them now, maybe they should look in the mirror and wonder why their kids don't talk to them.
To make a value judgment about people you do not know, and in the absence of any credible information, says a lot about your judgment skills and is troublesome to me that you are in a position to determine where a child lives.

So to give you the idea that all grand parents are wonderful people is wrong
Neither Donna nor I have made such an assertion and your implication is another indicator that your judgment skills need some improvement.

you must first make peace with your kids, before you can expect any rights to the grandkids.
This is simply ludicrous.

The laws in most states give g-parents zero or very few rights, and zero rights to a family that is still intact. In the case of a death of a child, or a divorce, g-parents may have very limited rights and they are lucky to get visits once a month.
This is not healthy for the children and, again, they have rights to have relationships with their extended family members, including their grandparents. To argue against this is to ignore thousands of years of history that has shown extended families to be of great importance to the emotional development of humans and animals alike.

Every case is fact specific and in most cases, if a person wants nothing to do with their parents, that is their choice. What about the mother that stays in a long term marriage to step-dad even though he sexually abused her kids? This stuff happens all the time and much if it goes unreported. Do you really think that parent wants her mom and step-dad around her child? Sometimes I wonder why I volunteer for CASA because I see a ton of horror stories but somebody has got to look out for the kids. It is no wonder why CPS in my state has a 40% job vacancy.
From what I've seen CASA is nothing more than a rubber stamp to help legitimize the poor decisions made by DFCS caseworkers. I have not only not been impressed by them, but I think they lack the knowledge and experience necessary to advocate for children. In the case that led to the construction of the web site I'm currently building, the CASA worker did nothing but work for DFCS, even stating that the Juvenile Court Judge was there only to implement DFCS decisions. She also totally ignored the Indian Child Welfare Act after being told that the child was a Cherokee descendant.

I have a great relationship with my parents and I hope they are always involved in
Again, no one has stated that in every case the relatives are good for the children. We have just had to deal with a CASA volunteer and she certainly DID NOT know what she was doing and does not need to be involved in making decisions affecting the lives of children.

our lives, but terrible parents do exist and those are the ones that keep social services employed.
From what I've seen this is where you get the information about the families you deal with. Social Services promotes itself above the welfare of the children they are supposed to be helping.

I'm almost 60 and have raised three children, have the equivalent of Master's Degree in Psychology and have studied human development from birth to death, following many people for as long as 25 years, many from birth to their mid twenties. What are your credentials?
 
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sorry, but the custody agreement is legally NOT your business. you are not a party to it, as i said before, its strictly between your daughter and her child's father. as i said before, if you want to see the child, you are expected to see the child on YOUR CHILD'S time.
I did not say legally! If you think that a child's welfare is not the "business" of it's grandparents you are very sadly mistaken. To refuse to allow a child to have a relationship with his/her grandparents is abusive, plain and simple. The only reason to interfere with this relationship is if the grandparent is abusing the child.
 
You sounds like a great parent and a great grandparent, but most often if children want nothing to with their parents, that is their choice and the supreme court has no business interfering on people's parenting decisions.

As far as the neighbors i was talking about, you know nothing about them so how could you even remotely hint that everyone else has the problem? I'll tell you this, the police department has him coded as "mentally unstable" due to several calls made by him that were unfounded. Thier kids want nothing to do with them, no surprise.

Most of the time when a grandparent is refused access to their grandkids, they know the reason and usually do not pursue it, such as the above case.

Your attitude that grandparent are perfect and should have rights to kids that is not theirs is not correct. By the way, My best friends father grew up in an abusive home and did not even go to his own fathers funeral. His memories of growing up are sad as they were filled with neglect and abuse. Do you think he wanted his parents to have anything to do with his grandkids? No, and grandpa knew it and didn't pursue it.

To refuse a child a relationship with their grandparents is not abusive, especially if the grandparents were abusive themselves.

I am going to go out on a limb and say that 90% of grandparents probably are great people and were great parents. Their children would love for them to be great grandparents. The other 10% I am concerned about.

This parents that fill up the social system are going to be grandparents one day , its kidn of scary to think that they cannot even take care of their own kids, and when they become parents they might want to see their grandkids. If their own children are against it. normally there is a viable reason.
 
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