17, unwed mother wanting full custody of child

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Lakasha

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Hi, im 17 years old and pregnant at the moment. im having problems with the father of my child. we have been broken up for almost 4 months now and he wont stop harrassing me. a few weeks prior to us breaking up me started to controll me and literally yelled at me telling me that the reason are relationship was going bad was because of me. he had threatend to take the child from me if i broke up and also threatened to kill any man that i dated or even thought about dating. He had told me that i was his and no body elses. but as you may know it didnt stop me.

At this time in our realationship he was in basic.. on his own accord. i told him not to. and he is now blaming me for forcing him to go. After i broke up with him.. he still kept threatening to take the child when he got out of AIT. He called for about a month yelling at me and telling me that HIS name is going to be on the birth certificite, the child is going to have HIS last name. that I am NOT going to date anyone... Or even think about Mariage.

at this moment he is being court marsheled for somthing.. he wouldnt tell me. He tried to commit suicide and blamed it on me.

The thing is ive told him to stop calling me and to stop e-mailing me.. and he hasent.. he only waits a week.. then calls back using a different phone each time.
He has threatened to come up here.. (im in ks and he's in tx right now.)
and said he was going to take his son from me. and this is what im afraid of.. He has already been through this.. ive only recently found out of his other child and the mother having a restraining order on him. so i dont know what to do.



I was wondering how can i get FULL custody of the child ?

Will him having a criminal record affect the chances of him getting visitation rights?

Can i get a restraining order put up against him because of the harrassment ?

Also,

Do i Have to Put his name on the birth certificite ?


anything will be usefull to me.. i just need some help here. im starting to get really woried that his is going to take my son from me.
 
Keep copies of all the emails with the threats so if you go to court for a Restraining Order you'll have the proof. Contact a women's group for domestic violence in your area and maybe they can steer you in the right direction on where to get help. You can ask the hospital about whether or not you have to put a father's name on the certificate. Keep checking back for more answers as Duranie usually has answers for your types of questions. He can't just take the child, that would be kidnapping. When he calls don't answer and ask your phone provider to block his calls. They will do this for a fee I believe. Maybe you can move somewhere, with a different relative, where he can't find you after the baby is born. If you do this, do not tell any one that he may contact, where you are going and I am sure your parents know not to give out that information. He sounds very dangerous so be careful. Are your parents helping you in this matter in any way?
 
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yeah, my parents are trying to find a good lawyer right now... and they tell me to stay around the house for a while just in case he does show up in town.
 
The child is not born yet so he has no rights whatsoever until the baby is born and paternity is established. You do not have to put his name on the birth cert, you can leave the father blank. At this point I would not establish paternity until he takes you to court. If you do go on government assistance, paterniey will have to be established and he will eventually have some rights. You can certainly file for CS but he will likely get some sort of visitation, you can ask for supervised.

Be more careful on who you get pregnant by, If you don;t like him and he has a criminal record, you should not be having a baby by him.

good luck
 
I agree. But you have a lot on your side, stable home environment, plus if you are a nursing mother, he would not get custody anyway. A friend of mine had a similar situation and the father took her to court for custody, but because the baby was a newborn infant and nursing obviously he did not get anything but reasonable visitation. And if your ex continues to act so irrationally then I would not dare call him, answer his calls or put his name ANYWHERE on record. You are in control of how this plays out. If you fall for his ranting and ravings and put his name on the birth cert and allow him to sign the affidavit of parentage you are going to set yourself up for trouble. If he takes you to court, so be it, but it will be far less messy if you don't start off by giving him everything up front. I would simply ignore him have my baby, bring her/him home and wait until I got something in the mail about going to court. Other than that when your ex regains his senses and stops acting so crazy is when he can start talking about some 'rights'.

Good luck my dear. Is he in the military still? My ex was military an when he started going crazy I surely called his commanding officer and got it in check.
 
right now im not sure.. he has told me that he might be put out on mental instability, and the fact that he was court marsheld and wouldnt tell me why makes me a little worried. he wasnt like this when we first got together. we dated for 9 month before i broke up with him. but the realationship wasnt working after our 7th month of dating.
 
He can't go to court for custody until paternity has been established. Do not put his name on the birth certificate.
 
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