Answer , Please

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liedto_16yrs

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I have been married to a man for almost 16yrs. I have been 100% faithfull, I haven't worked in those 16 yrs because he told me in the beginning of the marriage that I would never have to work. He controls all the money, pays all the bills, but when I ask for a few dollars ....even if it is only $5.00.... he always say's " We'll see...and I never get it. But yet he can always find the money to go where and when he wants to do things. All this time anytime I wanted to go somewhere with Family or friends...they always had to pay for me. Except for when I wanted to go to my family in another state...for emergency situations or family weddings..etc. Then and only then will he give me the money for it. But then it is only the exact amount for the ticket to fly. And maybe a few dollars more ...and I do mean just a few dollars more for whatever I need to eat with. For the almost 16 yrs I have been with this man...we have never done anything that interested me. Always what he wanted to do...my things I always wanted to do got put on hold...LIke: Well, lets do this first..and then we can go where you want to..but then it never happened. I have Heart, Liver, Thyroid, Aneurysm, Asthma and alot of other things wrong with me. ( That is another reason I haven't worked.) When I had my heart attack the doctors told him not to smoke around me....he still smokes in the house. But when His granddaughter comes over , he refuses to smoke in the house.

Do I have grounds for a divorce ?
 
What state do you live in?
 
Many states have No Fault divorces. You may google your state laws on divorce and see if your state is one of them. Some states allow you to site irreconcilable differences. It would be best to consult a lawyer to see what your options are. Consider how the health care insurance works and ask the lawyer if you would still be able to be on his insurance. Of course that would have to be ordered by the court for him to keep you on his insurance. Are you on social security for your disabilities and/or medicare? If not you may want to check on that. Since you haven't worked it would be under your husband's I believe but I am not sure exactly how that works so google social security as well.
 
Re: Answer Please

I live in Minnesota. I am not on any disability or anything like that. I tried to get on it but they said that he made to much.
 
How about just because he's an asshole? What more grounds do you need? You can get a divorce for the simple reason that you are mentally abused!

Go get a lawyer and start the separation process.

Start to find paycheck stubs, bank statements, retirements statements, any paperwork regarding his income, outcome, etc. that you can find.

Good Luck
 
Re: Answer Please

cmlombar , Thank you so very much for your advice. I am going to look for what ever information I can get.
Thanks again ..and God Bless You
 
You have grounds to divorce him but it looks like in Minnesota, you are going to have to live apart for a period of time.

You really need to see a divorce attorney. Since you do not work, you can petition the courts for your husband to pay all your legal fees. You also should apply for alimony. If you are disabled, you are going to have to apply for social security disability. Warning though, since you have not worked in so long, you probably are not going to get a whole lot. Your husbands income should not have anything to do with this. Either you must get on disability, or you need to find a job.

Do you have any friends or family you can stay with? Are there are any kids from the marriage?

You need to find an attorney and see one ASAP. Most will give you a free consultation.

In the meantime, I would start looking for bank statements, paystubs, etc..



http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelawsgr/minnesota.shtml
 
Just curious, how and through who did you try and get on disability? http://ssa-custhelp.ssa.gov/cgi-bin...cF9wdj0mcF9jdj0mcF9wYWdlPTM*&p_li=&p_topview=
From SS website: How does a divorced spouse qualify for benefits?
Question
How does a divorced spouse qualify for benefits?

Answer
A person can receive benefits as a divorced spouse on a former spouse's Social Security record if he or she:

was married to the former spouse for at least 10 years;
is at least age 62 years old;
is unmarried;
is not entitled to a higher Social Security benefit on his or her own record.
In addition, the former spouse must be entitled to receive his or her own retirement or disability benefit. If the former spouse is eligible for a benefit, but has not yet applied for it, the divorced spouse can still receive a benefit if he or she meets the eligibility requirements above and has been divorced from the former spouse for at least two years.

Generally, benefits cannot continue to be paid if the divorced spouse remarries someone other than the former spouse, unless the latter marriage ends (whether by death, divorce, or annulment), or the marriage is to a person entitled to certain types of Social Security auxiliary or survivor's benefits.

The benefits paid to a divorced spouse or a surviving divorced spouse will not affect the benefit amount paid to other family members who receive benefits on the same record.

If you would like to receive an estimate of benefits you may receive as a divorced spouse or a surviving divorced spouse, you may contact our representatives at our toll-free number, 1-800-772-1213. They may be able to provide you with this information over the telephone. If you prefer, you may visit one of our offices. You can get the address and directions to your nearest office from the Social Security Office Locator that is available on the Internet.

[Hope this helps
 
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