Custody threats and child support HELP!

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ctmom

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I was divorced in CA and currently reside in CT. As far as child custody and visitation I am awarded sole physical custody; legal custody is joint. Visitation is reasonable basis as arranged between us.

As far as child support at the time my ex husband was working a low paying job as he waited for is slot within is governmental career. He was ordered to $400.00. Because he was not able to pay I went without child support and MY parents offered him free room and board at thier home for 15 months. For the sake of my son.

8 months ago he finally started at his new job and was able to back pay me the amount ordered and has pain the $400.00 as ordered on the divorce decree. For the last 8 months he has been paying the child support as ordered at the amount of $400.00. He also insisted my son attended private school and called and made arrangements with the school in CT to make Payments from his checking account as I can not afford it with the child support alone.

Here is where the web becomes tangled. When he was in training he had a fling and now is expected a child this summer. He asked to claim my son on taxes and because I claimed him he is bent out of shape and has been making threats to taking me to court for full custody of my son because he is "getting the short end of the stick"


When I moved to CT from CA he was residing with my parents. He knew full and well that my son was moving to CT with me as we had worked out the details on flying my son to CT and he went as far as setting up the payment schedule with his school On the divorce decree it states "Either parent who plans to change the residence of a child, subject to this agreement or order, for more the 30 days, shall notify the other parent of the contemplated move by mail, return receipt requested, postage prepaid, to the last known address of the parent to be notified. A copy of the notice shall also be sent to that parent's cousel of record." Since everything was done on a verbal basis I was helping him out by not enforcing the child support and trusted that he would pay me when he could it felt silly to send such a notice to my parents address. Now I am kicking myself! He threatned to get a lawyer because I "broke the agreement and didn't give him permission to take his son" Furthermore he wants full custody ( I am assuming to avoid child support and claim him on taxes) As if my son is just an object!!! I have always done what was best for my son. He has suffered emotionally through the divorce. I am currently taking my son to Therapy for an anxiety disorder. He is starting to ask my son questions and confusing him. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. My son will be turning 7 next week. He is too young to understand what is going on and I don't want my ex husband questioning him about who does he want to live with, If he is getting attention,if he likes living with me. That is something for us to discuss adult to adult. I do not believe in using my son as a weapon. What do I do?
Here are some points:
1. His annual salary is close to 70,000 per year gross that I know of. That will be increasing over the next five years. I have no idea what child support should be. I do struggle with expenses.

2. I never wrote the 30 day notification and now am I in violation of the divorce decree, is there a letter I can write now to cover myself since he has shipped items to my son at this address, enrolled him on his health insurance and dental plan that can be used in CT not just CA and most importantly was school dues reduced from his checking each month. Showing that he is aware and had no problem with him residing in CT with me.

3. If he files for custody where does the battle happen. Do I have to go to CA or does he have to come to CT.

4. My son is scheduled to fly out this summer to stay with his father and my parents over the summer break. His father now lives about 200 miles away from my parents home. He stated he may not let him come back. Can he do that? What do I do?

Please help.
 
Ok this is complicated because it appears neither of you are following the decree.

CT is a long way to move from CA. How is Dad supposed to see the child?

Whatever state did the divorce will have jurisdiction, so you should file any motions in CA.

There is probably not much you can do about what Dad "might do" but if you plan on living in CT then you should do what the decree says about notifying Dad of the move. FYI..Dad can still fight the move, he doesn't have to allow it. Is this move in the childs best interest? Dad and the grandparents are in CA, why did you move?

Keep in mind that since you are the one that moved, Dad is either entitled to an offset in child support to pay for travel expenses to see his child, or Dad can ask that you pay for all transportation.

So for now, I would correctly notify Dad of your move, he then can file a motion in court asking for custody. If he does you will probably have to hire a lawyer in CA.
 
Duranie,

When I moved my son's father had no idea where in the U.S. he would end up not only in the U.S. he was considering and as recent in the last two months has considered taking a contract job in the Middle East.

A new job opportunity brought me to CT. I am remarried. I at the time had just myself and my son in mind not knowing where my ex-husband would end up. I want my son to spend as much time possible with his father It was not and is not my intention to keep distance between them. He was in Oklahoma after my son moved to CT with me then he supposedly was going to put in for a transfer to Ohio. I don't know what his future plans are and want stability for my son as I had mentioned before I feel he has been through enough and am taking him weekly to pediatric counseling.

Should I go through the state for Child support so that I can then afford the travel expenses? We had worked out splitting the cost.

How do I word the notification for the move since it has already happened?
 
CSE has nothing to do with anything but child support. It is up to a judge to enter an amount of child support, all CSE will do is enforce that amount.

You are going to have to go back to court to update the decree such as visitation, holidays, who pays for what.

I really cannot tell you how to do anything but you might want to consult a lawyer in CA of that is where the divorce was done and ask how you go about getting the decrtee updated, and properly notifying the dad of the move.

This does not mean though, that dad will still not fight you on the move. He can still dispute it. That is why its probably best to consult a lawyer.
 
Duranie,

Thanks for taking the time on this issue, it is greatly appreciated. I will begin the process of finding a reasonable attorney in CA.
 
It is imperative that you do this through an attorney; you are doing the right thing.
 
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